As a parent in Thunder Bay’s East End told me, watching her 23-year-old son struggle with addiction feels like “grieving someone who’s still alive.” Her shoulders tensed as we sat in her kitchen last Wednesday, steam rising from mugs of tea that grew cold as she described years of sleepless nights, checking her phone for calls from hospitals or police.
“You start isolating yourself because people don’t understand,” she explained, requesting anonymity to protect her family’s privacy. “They say things like ‘just kick them out’ or ‘they need to hit rock bottom’ without realizing that rock bottom might mean death these days.”
This painful reality is what motivated the Thunder Bay District Health Unit to launch “Parents Like Us,” a new peer support group specifically designed for parents and caregivers of people using substances. The program, which held its first meeting last month, creates a space where families experiencing similar struggles can connect without judgment.
“When my daughter began using, I felt completely alone and ashamed,” says Michael Derosiers, one of the program’s peer facilitators who has navigated his own journey as a parent of someone with substance use disorder. “What parents need most is to know they aren’t the only ones facing this, that there are others who truly understand what it’s like to love someone with addiction.”
The timing couldn’t be more critical. According to data from the Thunder Bay Drug Strategy, the city has consistently reported overdose rates significantly higher than provincial averages. In 2022, Thunder Bay saw 82 suspected drug-related deaths—nearly triple the Ontario per capita rate. Behind each of these statistics are families left to navigate grief, guilt, and an often confusing support system.
Patty Hajdu, Minister of Indigenous Services and MP for Thunder Bay-Superior North, has spoken about how the crisis affects the entire community: “When we talk about the opioid crisis, we often focus on those actively using substances, but there’s a wider circle of people suffering—parents, siblings, children, and friends who need support too.”
The health unit’s approach builds on evidence suggesting that family support serves dual purposes. Research published in the Canadian Journal of Addiction indicates that when family members receive proper support, they not only improve their own well-being but can become more effective in supporting their loved one’s potential recovery journey.
When I visited the health unit’s office on Court Street South, Samantha Peterson, a public health nurse with the program, showed me a modest meeting room with a circle of chairs and a table with coffee and snacks. “We wanted to create an environment that feels welcoming, not clinical,” she explained. “The program isn’t about experts telling parents what to do—it’s about parents supporting each other through shared experience.”
What distinguishes Parents Like Us from other support options is its peer-led model. Facilitators like Derosiers have lived through similar experiences, creating an immediate sense of understanding that professional-led groups sometimes lack.
“I remember sitting in a counselor’s office being told to practice self-care, and thinking ‘How am I supposed to take a bubble bath when I don’t know if my son is alive?'” says Derosiers. “That’s why peer support works—we know exactly how impossible some well-meaning advice can seem.”
The program also incorporates harm reduction principles, a sometimes controversial approach that focuses on reducing negative consequences of substance use rather than demanding immediate abstinence. For many parents raised with “tough love” messaging, this perspective requires a significant shift in thinking.
One father I spoke with outside the health unit building, who has attended two meetings so far, described this shift: “I grew up thinking addiction was a choice, that you just needed to be strong enough to quit. Now I understand it’s a health condition. My son isn’t choosing this life. That changed everything about how I respond to him.”
The Parents Like Us meetings cover practical skills alongside emotional support—how to recognize signs of overdose, administering naloxone, setting boundaries, and navigating treatment options available in Northwestern Ontario. But participants consistently tell me the most valuable aspect is simply being in a room with others who understand.
The health unit has partnered with several local organizations including St. Joseph’s Care Group and the NorWest Community Health Centres to ensure families can be connected to additional resources when needed. These partnerships help address the often fragmented nature of addiction services that many families describe struggling to navigate.
Denise Lambert, Substance Use Program Manager at NorWest CHC, emphasizes that supporting families benefits everyone: “When we strengthen the support system around a person using substances, we improve outcomes for the entire family unit. Parents with proper support make more effective allies in their loved one’s wellness journey.”
The program arrives at a time when Thunder Bay’s substance use landscape is becoming increasingly dangerous. Street drugs contaminated with potent synthetic opioids have made every use potentially fatal, intensifying the anxiety families experience.
For the mother I met in the East End, Parents Like Us has become a lifeline. “For the first time in years, I felt like I could breathe in that room,” she told me, her hands finally relaxed around her mug. “Someone else said exactly what I’d been thinking but was afraid to say out loud—that sometimes you worry about getting that final call, but other days you almost wish it would come so the suffering would end. Then you feel guilty for even thinking it.”
As our conversation ended, she showed me a text from her son—three days sober and asking to meet for coffee. Her expression held both hope and caution, the delicate balance families learn to maintain. “I don’t know what tomorrow brings,” she said. “But today, I’m not facing it alone.”
Parents Like Us meets weekly at the Thunder Bay District Health Unit. Those interested can contact the health unit directly for meeting times and additional information.
